Alvin and the chipmunks... A rant because I can...

So there is of course another chipmunks movie out.  I am so annoyed that I will have to take it out on my beloved internet (I wouldn't take it out on her but in reality she likes it and always comes back for more).  The chipmunks started back in the late fifties after a bunch of novelty songs were released and as novelty songs always do for no good reason got popular.  This gave them the chance to make a cartoon about them that would piggyback on the success of these songs and give all the little kiddies something to watch.  This proved popular and after the series began to do well in reruns in 79 NBC resurrected them with a christmas special that would spawn a new animated series.  This is where it gets dumber.  The new show does chipmunk versions of contemporary songs (the eighties so you know it's gonna really suck) and delved more into the life of the chipmunks (also boring).  Female counterparts are written in and eventually by the end of the decade they are parodying movies and after this they would fade out of the public eye save for some direct to video things (so more suck).  Course a couple of years ago the CGI(Completely goddam idiotic)/Live action Chipmunk movie fell into theaters to be loved by masses of stupid people.  A sequel (I know how to spell unlike other people...Movie people) was made undoubtedly to pander to the same creatins that paid real actual US  currency to go watch.  Now I could spend countless hours talking about how much these movies suck or why Jason Lee sucks at life because he's in the movies but I will take the high road.  The chipmunks themselves are really troublesome on their own.  There is the cool one, the smart one and the fat one.  They are really not fleshed out much more than that.  Alvin thinks he's cool and acts the part.  He often gets into trouble trying to be cool and this creates "conflict".  Thinking back to it most of us really hate these characters in movies and tv.  Most people instead take to the secondary characters as they are more easy to relate to.  Sadly two more stereotypes lye in the ranks.  Simon the brains wears glasses.  As we all know everyone who wears glasses are really smart and know science and stuff.  His job is to bail out Alvin during his hairbrain schemes.  Lastly the fat one "Theodore".  He eats.  Not much else but eating.  Seriously does every group need a fat one.  Well looking at life I guess it always does so point goes to the chipmunks I suppose.  Now take our new formula: Popular + Brains + Food = Entertainment.  Sadly this formula doesn't hold up over the years.  As the newer generation shows up they demand more out of there prepackaged television advertising breaks.  So why does hollywood think this needs to come back after all these years.  Sadly the old saying goes "If I haven't seen it, it's new to me" and that seems to be enough.  In the real world I don't think talking anthropomorphic rodents would last all that long.  Alvin would get whats coming to him after he tries to come on to a human female (cross species relationships aren't christian so that means it's bad), Simon who starts crafting a wild science experiment becomes too into his own mindtrip and creates a device that destroys the house killing him and Dave (The owner/dad/straight man).  Theodore lives a long and fulfilling life out of his brothers shadows.  Nah he dies of a heart attack cause that's what happens to fat people who eat right?  Another oddity is that there are female counter parts to them who mirror them being not much more than palette swaps with vagianas.  They have similar real world experiences but they just look a little different.  So why has this endured for almost fifty years?  Cause kids never watch anything good?  Cause hollywood is not able to come up with anything better?  Nope.  It's cause kids will watch almost anything.  Seriously.  Put a jar of mustard with goggly eyes and a nose and it's almost guaranteed to last a season on Nickelodeon.  'So I hope this has been informative (even though we all know it's not), and that we all can find something good to watch on the old picture tube.  Till then lets all cancel the bad shows and change the channel.